Remember that Oscar winning film “The King’s Speech”? You don’t have to imagine what he went through to overcome his social disorder, it’s all an open book and the motion picture proves it is a battle within us that has to be won. At one point in life or another each one of us must have gone through that horrible and humiliating moment of freezing before an audience or simply “chickening” out in a situation that demands steady conversation and for some the dilemma still accompanies them like a shadow in which they have learned to live. It’s time to move on however and to accept social anxiety as a problem but one which can easily be solved and forgotten. Here are the ten best ways to avoid/overcome social anxiety problems irrespective of priority:
10. Realize why you are experiencing social anxiety:
is it because you experienced an incident where you just froze on stage and from that day you are unable to carry out stable conversation with anyone or are you simply shy to meet new people because you have no idea how the meeting will turn out? Maybe it’s because you are an introvert and fear sharing your ideas and thoughts with others. All of these and a hundred other reasons may contribute to social anxiety problems and realizing why the problem exists in the first place is extremely important. Seeking the root of your fear of socializing is one way to overcome that fear. It is only when the disease is diagnosed correctly that the cure can be sought.
9. Acknowledge the fact that people want to be spoken to:
what if he/she doesn’t want to talk to me? It’s one of the major questions which might prevent some people from sharing our views with others and speaking in public. Well, it is quite the other way around. People won’t refuse to participate in a good conversation therefore the fear of lack of response is inadequate. Every culture openly welcomes a healthy conversation however what must be borne in mind is that you need to start of small and realize the nature of the person being spoken to because exceptional cases do exist and you never know the person opposite to you might be experiencing social phobia as well.
8. Stop thinking what others might think:
this does not mean that you shouldn’t think before you act but simply don’t think too much. Spending time thinking as to what the other person might think about what you say next or how you act is most likely to lead you never to speak or act at all. In order to avoid social problem one must be mentally prepared to own the words that escape the tongue and mold them in your favor. It is important to start small that is give a certain level of importance to the other person before preparing him/her or rather yourself for a debate. A compliment is usually the best way to initiate a conversation since no one contradicts a compliment.
7. Do something crazy:
go wild and take a challenge. Do something that’s daring for you to do so in a public place if a terrible “experience” is what causes the anxiety dilemma. The categories and levels of something “crazy” may obviously vary from person to person. What may be unusual for one person may not be unusual for the other and vice versa. Shouting on top of your lungs for example and laughing out loud or simply wearing an odd attire and accept the experience of people staring at you like a good sport or simply doing something which is so ordinary like walking in high heels for the first time just to prove to yourself that you are ready to change.
6. Practice in front of a mirror:
Noticing your expressions and judging yourself is one of the best way to boost your confidence level. Not just the way you speak but also the acknowledgement of your facial movements and expressions can assist tremendously when carrying out a conversation in public. One of the main reasons why actors, particularly theatrical artists are advised to “practice” before a mirror is because at that moment they themselves are their own audience. Same is the case with a person experiencing social anxiety that they can pass their own judgment about themselves before seeking opinion from others.
5. Make your friends your practice:
figuratively this means practice speaking to your friends before implementing your newly found confidence on others since friends will never discourage you and improve your mistakes instead of criticizing. Once you master your skills with friends or close acquaintances you feel much more accomplished to talk to strangers or distant friends and relatives and gradually the problem might be as if it never existed.
4. Talk to yourself about your problem:
one very effective and simple way of overcoming social anxiety is to discover yourself. This simply means to talk to yourself about what problems you might encounter in a “so and so” situation and what possibilities of a foul up do you have. Next you tell yourself how you would react and how you could to diversified situations that is for example what do you usually do when someone greets you and what you should do. This prepares you for future social encounters and to an extent is the most efficient method of controlling the problem rather than being controlled.
some people often have the perception “this is how we are accept it or leave it”. Adapting to varying circumstances is as important as having an opinion of your own. Evolution is the source of existence and every individual must be prepared to learn and experience new situations and talk to new people. This is a skill required in every field and every sphere of life, that is the skill of common speech whether you like it or not. The main point is to understand that people will always turn their backs on a person who does not care to engage in conversation no matter how intellectual he/she might be.
2. Speak less, convey more:
“the habit of common and continuous speech is mental deficiency”-Walter Bagehot. The realization that what you speak is more important than how much you speak is essential in order to succeed in the social world and accomplish one’s mission of overcoming every social anxiety that exists within us. Words though simple could mean a lot and it is more important to say something intellectual and comprehensive than something utterly nonsense and meaningless.
1. See a therapist:
If all the above methods are a failure than the best option would be to avail the facility of a good social therapist who would diagnose why do you experience a problem in speech or why you hide away from the world to live in isolation as a loner who wants to be invisible. Similar to many chronic diseases though social anxiety is not a disease it must be treated before it reaches a point where it is impossible to reverse the effects and eliminate the problem altogether. Be mentally prepared with a determination that no matter what it takes this flaw must come to an end. Never hesitate to talk about your problem to a therapist if, even subconsciously you might realize out of the blue that you are getting uncomfortable in social circles or even for instance ordering a pizza is a “task” to you, prevention is always better than the cure.