There are far more than ten reasons to love your parents when you are a child. Your parents are your whole world then and their world too revolves around you. It is a blissful time that, as we grow older, we long to visit again and again. But that is nothing compared to how badly our parents wish it. Most days they would trade anything to get their darling little munchkin back instead of the confusing, rebellious, ultramodern, glamorous, hippie like or simply mystifying transformations that growing up has wrought about in you. Whereas parents like to be stuck in a time warp of their own doing, children grow up superfast in the twenty first century where internet and gadgets have changed the name of the game. There is so much the two do not understand about each other.
On top of this, there are the traditional parent child communication barriers that meddle with the relationship once love starts to thaw and realization begins to creep in. Parents will love their children no matter what. They remember the nine months of coming into the world, the first time the tiny hand curled into a fist, the first time the tiny baby smiled even though it just would was gas, the first steps, the first word, etc. The child has no such memories. Even though they love their parents beyond reason, as time passes, a variety of emotions layer on to this that sometimes cloud judgements and even decisions. Here is a little guide to remind and reaffirm the purity of your first love and why it will remain the most important relationship in your life.
10. Parents Are People Too
When Rachel Greene’s parents were getting a divorce in the iconic American sitcom, “Friends”, she cribs at having being forced to look at her parents as people. She was perfectly happy relegating them to the “Parents” status quo and not thinking of them outside that box. As a result, she hated this forced perspective that life was thrusting on her. Though it sounds absurd, this is what most of us tend to do, not because we are bad, selfish people but because that is our psychological training. As kids, parents are the epitome of all standards of life and that is how we keep continuing to view them. They are, simply put, “Mum” and “Dad”. It seems peculiar even to utter their names. As long as their children are little, parents are happy to keep playing this one dimensional role and be the centre of your world. Once you get older, don’t let your issues keep you from wholeheartedly loving the individuals they are rather than only the parent aspect of that individual. They love you for everything you are, your flaws and your strengths. Shouldn’t you do the same thing?
9. They Have Their Issues Too
To quote another American serial with its own set of parental issues, Gossip Girl has this to say about it, “In every girl’s life there comes a moment when she realizes that her mother just might be more messed up than she is.” If you think you are messed up or have a difficult life that nobody understands, then imagine the life of the people who raised you. Whether they understand you or not, they have been trying their utmost to do so. Whereas you have been so focused on your own life, that the vice versa aspect of this deal might have completely escaped you. If you really think about what all your parents have gone through in life, then it makes complete sense that they are what they are today. Instead of relegating that to be the last generation’s junk, go ahead and open Pandora’s Box. The treasures you will find will not only make you love your parents more, it will also help you understand your roots and heritage before.
8. Because They Have Your Best Interests At Heart
No child has loved their parent less than when they felt them being overbearing, interfering, judgemental, orthodox or simply adopting the “I know best” or “Because I said so” attitude. As we grow older, parents seem less and less inclined to discuss and more towards simply ending the argument with a simple statement of authority that is meant to be a reminder of who’s in charge. Even when you are all moved out and independent, hearing their didactic diatribes of advice can be frustrating to say the least. But despite how irritating the whole matter is, know that it comes from a really special place. They go to lengths to be irritating, knowing how despicable you find it, only because they love you so much and are convinced that you are screwing up your life. The fact that they care so much should tell you a thing or two about their intention, no matter how misguided it may be. So do yourself a favour. Cut them some slack and love them back loads.
7. Because You Are Tied To Them
No matter how infuriating you find your parents at times, it is an irrefutable fact that you are a sum part of your parents. You may be a completely different person from the people they are, but you are a culmination of their efforts, love and hope. You are the best of both of them. And whether you admit it or not, they are your inspiration. Your path to success and your desire for achievements are so that you can make them proud. It is said that we always try to be one step more successful than our parents. If that is your barometer in life, then that too is an inheritance from them.
6. Because They Are the Very First Relationship of Your Life
You may have the best of friends, you may be involved with the love of your life or you may have children of your own whom you love more than the sun, moon and stars put together. But these all came later. The first people you ever knew and loved are your parents. Freud said that our optimal relationship in life is with our parents. With everyone we meet later and try to share our life with is an imitation of that relationship. The truth of that statement may be up for debate, it is a close home run nonetheless. Our ideas of love and loving come from our parents. They are our guidepost to behaving with the rest of the world. Then does it not behove that they should have the first of our loving too?
5. Because They Did a Lot of Unpleasant Things for You
If you don’t have children yourself, then you cannot begin to contemplate the dirty, disgusting and downright unpleasant things your parents have had to do for you. If you would like a glimpse then tune into Christina Applegate starring, “Up All Night”. But even that Hollywood-ized glamour story is not the realistic enough. Staying up all night was the least of your parents’ problems. It began with cleaning your poop, vomit and all other nasty elements that the un-potty trained you might have ejected. Then when you entered toddlerhood then your parents paid the price of your overzealous creativity. Primary school homework, tests, science projects and the dreaded exams. Your parents must have breathed a sigh of relief when they were done with studies and exams. A few blissful years must have passed till you again dragged them back to the nightmarish years of school when you having an exam meant that they were having one too. Staying up to revise with you, waking early to ensure you don’t oversleep, nail biting tension about your performance, etc. The load is heavier for them than it is for you. Spare a thought for how unwittingly you penalize your poor parents and go give them a warm hug.
4. Because They Sacrificed a Lot for You
Everything changed once you came along. Their way of life, their friendships, their relationships, their finances and their priorities. Speaking cold bloodedly, they would have been able to travel the world, be far more successful at the work place or have a lot more money to spend on life’s luxuries were it not for you. But they never resented you for that. Rather they sacrificed all these willingly so they could provide you with the things you want most. You were their most important job, their first priority. Whether your mother gave up her job to be a stay at home or your father worked extra hours to fund your expensive tastes, this is a story of love and selflessness. In return they asked for nothing. Altruism is but another word for parenthood.
3. Because They Paid For Everything
Before you smirk at this point or say something like, “They had to pay for everything because it was their duty,” just look at the teen parenting statistics of America. The numbers will scare you. Not all who get pregnant (just not talking about the woman here, it is the man’s responsibility too) have such endearing attitudes towards their children. The foster care system, adoption and child abandonment don’t exist out of thin air. There are hordes of parents to whom children are nothing but mere inconveniences, to be disposed off without further thought. Your parents spent their life’s savings bringing you up, to indulge your whims and fancies and risked their pensions to put you through college. If this is not a reason to love your parents beyond reason, I don’t know what is.
2. Because They Gave You Your Name
“What’s in a name?” asked Shakespeare. Everything I say. Your own unique identity in this varied melange of a world is your name. Your parents saw the little bundle in their arms and imagined all the great things you would conquer and commandeer in the world one day. They sorted through hundreds of options before deciding on the one word that would describe how special you were. Then they added their own name beside that to let everyone know that you belong to them, your identity is tooted in a heritage so deep and varied that you would be proud to call it your own. In the olden days they fought battles over the honour of one’s name. Today your name is as important as the google searches it turns up. It is more than your Facebook, Twitter and Email. It is how the world sees you and calls you. Most importantly, it is how you see yourself. This precious gift was bestowed by them. Love them for it.
1. Because They Love You
The most obvious reasons make it to the top most positions on most lists. That is usually because they are true. No one will love you as much as your parents do. No one is as close to you as your parents are. After they die, they will take with them a part of you that no one else in the world is privy to. They will also leave behind a part of them that they cherished to their last breath- You. It is important to make the most of the time you have. If you waited for epiphanies or lists like this to remind you of what’s important, then a lifetime of regret awaits you. Put your differences aside and celebrate the love you share.
Show your Mother’s your love this Mother day by giving her some awesome gifts.